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 I am Barbra, a grateful believer who struggles with Alcohol, meth and no self worth. There was no love of Jesus or mention of him in the home I grew up in or any practice of faith that I am aware of. I went to Catholic Church until my first communion. All I remember from that is being in confession saying the same prayers over and over and a punishing GOD. My entire childhood was spent with a knot in my stomach, always afraid, never wanting to go home unless MOM was there. My dad was not an alcoholic just a very angry man. He never spoke to me unless berating or belittling me or slapping me around. My brother always got the worst of the physical abuse. It was very difficult for me to witness it but too scared to do anything about it. My mom was a liquor distributor so we had a full blown bar in our family room. My parents were social drinkers. By the age of 10 I was drinking regularly and smoking cigarettes. Around this time I now know that God was calling me because I would go to church with friends, but I just could not accept the love of my Heavenly Father, when my earthly father hated me (I also hated him).   READ MORE

Barbra M.

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